Did you know anxiety is a demon ?
Lets face it, we all fight anxiety almost on a daily basic. Please correct me if i am wrong> perhaps this only happens to me ? One thing i can say to you is there is a certain degree when it comes to anxiety. It usually starts when we are in high school or primary even. The perimeters set up expose us to situations that will leave us questioning almost every detail. From being bullied but a fellow student to being being beaten for not responding after being called, nobody cares whether you hear it or not. Sad right. (I was raised in a school where you would get beaten for almost anything). I became afraid of pain, that built a big wall around me. I was afraid to speak my mind, I was afraid to express myself simply because you would get beaten up. Physical Pain is one of the reasons we end up questioning almost anything and everything, we do not want to feel like that again.
Now lets start at the very root. Stress at school because you are so much under pressure to succeed, there is also that fear of pain installed in you. So now, all you think about is ‘what if i get this wrong, what if, what if what if… anxiety starts smiling and it creeps inside your head with pleasure. Its not anyone’s fault really when it comes to our upbringing. You can spend all the time you want blaming whoever that was doing that, however if you want to dig deeper, they were also unaware or very aware of what they were doing. That question I will just leave it unanswered. Lets focus on me and you. Now that we know one of the root cause of anxiety, we see a trail of how it actually affects one’s daily decisions. Perhaps lets define what anxiety is. According to the Urban Dictionary, Anxiety is when you completely cease to exist in the moment only to focus on the bad things or wrong things that could happen in your life. So its constantly worrying that you will fail because you failed the previous test, or stressing while pregnant because your first child miscarried. Its deep. Anxiety may seem like horror to some, its also a really sad reality to most people.
I can talk about this the whole day. Anxiety is a demon. It creeps on you and steals your joy away. It leaves your hopeless, destitute, desperate, dirty and above all drained. It steals from your future if you allow it. Best way is to live in the moment. The past is history the future is a mystery and today is a gift. The Present. I am a conquer of anxiety. (I was about to say a victim) then i remembered that bitch anxiety creeping on me again. My experiences will probably take more than 48hrs of me explaining to the build up of the anxiety demon I have to fight everyday. I am healing very well. When i say healing, i mean I actually got hospitalized because of anxiety. It can get really nasty if you let it. Legit. I didn’t know what it was. Like any other human being, I was coexisting with this demon without even knowing it. I had no idea. Most people who are very successful have found ways to destroy anxiety or deal with it in a way that doesn’t push them back in life.
To be where i am right now is through accepting my past and understanding there is nothing you can do about the past except moving on. All i have to do now is to love more and worry less
Love is the angel that saved me from drowning with anxiety. Love always jumps in and picks me up when distractions attempt to take me down. I have learnt to love myself more and allow myself to enjoy each moment rather than ceasing to exist in moments only to dwell in the bad stuff that could happen. All i can say is love has liberated me from my past. Love has helped me move on to the next chapter each time. The demon has no chance as i have seen how it leaves my life looking like an accident scene. I am grateful to all the people in my life who have seen my fights with anxiety. I am so happy that I wasn’t alone to fight it. May i be there to help out to anyone who might be facing that same demon right now.
Love more, Worry Less.